Why get married?

Lately I have been noticing our wedding colors everywhere. We had ice cream the other day, and we got them in an orange and green glasses –cool! Also in our home there is a lot those colors like curtains, pillows, candles etc. Whenever I start to wonder our color choices, it is clear to me that I like the colors, and maybe it will be a bit cheaper with decorating the wedding spot, when we already have so much those colors. Maybe we can use our curtains in the decoration or mums as well, since she also happens to have some similar colors.

Only thing really worrying me about the colors is, that I choose them. Ofcourse we talked together about the colors, but I think I was quite persistent about it. Orange and green are My colors. Wedding is ours. So, I guess at times I am feeling a bit guilty about being so selfish in this matter. Then again, when I have asked from my dear fiancé what he wants for the wedding, he says: You. So, maybe I am worrying again a bit too much. After all, we are planning to have some gaming in corporate with the color theme, so that is as much him and me as possible.

The fact is, that mainly men care about the main point: getting married (and food + drinks) more than what the location will look like. I wonder if any other bride is feeling the same guilt anyway –feeling, like they are making the wedding look too much like their own?

That question has made me think about relationships in general

What makes a relationship work? How can we make sure with our own actions that the love between us remains during years? I know few things: respect one another, talk about everything that is in mind, give space for each other and do things together. Few simple rules, but still so many people end up getting divorced. My parents divorced and so did my fiancés parents too (tough not married, but a long relationship with 4 children.) So we have the first-hand look, how things don´t always last till the grave.

For a long time I was sure I would never want to get married, since it means nothing. People divorce or live unhappily in the marriage. Getting married seemed in a way like an illusion. People promise to stay till death do us part, but people don´t always follow that promise all the way. Around 30-40% of first marriages end. So, why get married?

A question I did ask myself a lot before we got engaged. Why did I change my opinion about getting married? I can´t really explain. I feel it has something to do with the fact that I believe in us. I want our relationship to work and I am willing to work for it. It is a sign of a promise to us. Also a sing of a trust. We trust each other and want to keep shearing our life with each other, support and care in all days. What we have is love and care, we want to keep it between us. Ofcourse we have our own problems, but no relationship is perfect. Two people with two different minds has always challenges, but we want to get thru those challenges and stay together. Learn to love and respect our own quirkiness in our own way.

I think the biggest change in my idea of marriage before Joery and after is, that I used to think people are trying to prove something to others by giving rings in front of people. Truth is different, it is a promise to our self to stick together and respect each other.

I come across articles of advices for a good relationship every once and a while and this link I wanted to share since I saw it today, and again it is giving really simply advices, that still seem to be difficult to follow. It is to remind how different every relationship is and how love can carry on for many many years. Link is in finnish, I am sure by googling you can find great (if not even better) articles in English of the topic.

linkki: Miten rakkaus kestää koko elämän?

#colors #photo #love